Insanity
by Ari-chan
Summary: (Rating is a strong pg-13) Haruka, Michiru, Ari-chan and Yaten are reading some fics and making fun of the bad pairings. Then, Haruka the genuis comes up with a plan to destory all bad fic writers..but how does she know it's not writer who is behind it?


Insanity Rated: PG-13 (maybe even a R) By: Ari-chan  
  
Notes and disclaimers: All right, after seeing so many of these damn bad pairings I had to do something! Also, this has to do with the fact that I get almost no reviews! So please, tell me what you think, whether you think the fic sucked or was the best thing you ever read (yeah right) And this written in a style I hardly ever use.  
  
Haruka, Michiru and all related characters belong to Naoko-sama. And Ari-chan, of course belongs to me because she is me! Oh, and yes I know Yaten I aren't together but I love him so much!  
  
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Scene: Haruka is sitting at a table, papers are strewn all about her. She runs her fingers through her hair and sighs. Michiru walks in and massages her love's shoulders.  
  
Michiru- What are you doing? Paying the bills?  
  
Haruka- ::sighs:: I wish. These people are insane Michiru! Look at this. ::she picks up a paper and hands it to Michiru. As the girl reads it displeasure appears on her face::  
  
Michiru- What the… what is this? You and.. and.. Yaten…  
  
Haruka- Can you believe that? And this one here has me with Usagi- chan! Why would I ever go with her? I think she is cute, in a little girl way. Like, naïve. Why would I ever want her when I have you, Michi.  
  
::Suddenly the door bell rings. When Michiru opens it Ari-chan is standing there with a stack of papers in hand.::  
  
Haruka- Who is it?  
  
Michiru- Ari-chan. ::Haruka sweatdrops. Ari-chan bounds into the room where Haruka is and drops the stack on the table::  
  
Ari-chan- Hey Haruka-san, Michiru-san. I dug these up all over the web. And when I heard Haruka-san here was doing some research I just had to come by. Oh yeah, I invited Yaten-chan over.. he said he couldn't come right away but he'll be by later.  
  
Haruka- Great… ::She puts her head in her hands for a few minutes and counts to ten::  
  
Ari-chan- Oh! I've got one you'll *really* like. ::She pulls on out a packets of papers. On the cover it says: Haruka and Taiki.. star crossed lovers. Haruka spits out her tea and grabs it::  
  
Haruka- What the hell is this?! Taiki is a.. a.. transsexual, or something. Besides, his forehead is as big as Michiru's chest  
  
Michiru- Are you saying my chest isn't big enough?  
  
Haruka- ::Facefault:: Ack.. no.. ew.. ::shudders:: I can't take this.. ::she walks out::  
  
Ari-chan- What a baby… anyway. Well, since she's not here I might as well show you this. ::She picks up a paper that has Aqua Roses written on it.::  
  
Michiru- Don't tell me. Mamoru-san and I? ::she grabs the paper and her eyes go wide as she reads it:: Why didn't you tell me this was a… Lemon! ::Ari-chan cowers::  
  
Ari-chan- I'm sorry Michiru-san. I just thought that I should let you know…  
  
Michiru- Why would anyone ever write this? I would never be unfaithful to my Haruka. That sick, sick man! Why would he, how could he? ::Michiru runs out of the room in the direction the bathroom is. Ari-chan shrugs and sits down shuffling more stories.  
  
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Scene: Haruka and Michiru's living room. Ari-chan is sitting in front of a table with more fics and now Yaten in there. He is sitting behind Ari-chan on the couch and she is leaning against his legs. He has a fic in his hands. Suddenly his eyes go wide::  
  
Yaten- I didn't know you could *that* with a transformation stick! ::Ari-chan turns around and gives him a nasty look::  
  
Haruka- Yaten-san, why are you here anyway?  
  
Yaten- Because, Ari-chan invited me and how could I turn down her offer?  
  
Michiru- Do I sense something is going on? ::Ari-chan and Yaten cough and blush while looking at something "interesting" on the ceiling. Haruka and Michiru exchange a look::  
  
Haruka- Oh look Ari-chan, one of yours. And who is it about? Yaten- san!  
  
Yaten- What? Ari-chan what is she talking about?  
  
Ari-chan ::blushes:: You've seen the one Haruka-san is referring to. You know, the one about Keriko..  
  
Yaten- Oh! Yes, I do know about that one. Now, why don't you write one about us?  
  
Ari-chan- Umm, because you fans will get mad and kill me?  
  
Yaten- Not if I kill them first. ::he clenches his fist while everyone else sweatdrops::  
  
Haruka- Moving on.. Holy shit! This one here is a lemon about… (I can barely say it) Setsuna and Hotaru-chan!  
  
Michiru- What? ::she grabs the paper and reads:: These sick, sick, people.  
  
Ari-chan- Well, this one isn't so bad. Haruka-san has a rock band. And you Michiru-san are the groupie who she falls in love with. :: Chibi Johnny Reznik pops up holding a sign that says "I'm so hot!"::  
  
Yaten- Where did he come from?  
  
Ari-chan- ::Sighs with dreamy look in eyes:: I don't know but I want to go there…  
  
Yaten- Hey! What about me? ::crosses arms:: Oh, I get it you want a rock star, not a pop star. Fine then ::gets up and starts to walk away::  
  
Ari-chan- No! Yaty-chan.. come back, I love *you*!  
  
Haruka and Michiru- Yaty-chan? ::Yaten comes back over sits down, Ari-chan cuddles up in his arms. Haruka suddenly stands up with a fanfic held high over her head::  
  
Haruka- No one, I mean no one can read this one.  
  
Michiru, Ari-chan, Yaten- Why not?  
  
Haruka- Because it is the most sickening thing ever!  
  
Michiru- It can't be worse then Mamoru-san being paired with Hotaru.  
  
Haruka- Yeah it can… what? Mamoru-san with my, our Hime-chan?! Why that child rapist…  
  
Ari-chan- Haruka-san, the one you have…  
  
Haruka- Not telling.  
  
Michiru- Love.. if you don't tell you'll be on the couch for 2 weeks.  
  
Haruka- ::sweatdrop:: You wouldn't be that cruel would you?  
  
Ari-chan- I'd say yes.  
  
Haruka- ::Shoots Ari-chan a nasty look, Ari-chan cowers next to Yaten::  
  
Michiru- Ari-chan is right dear… you will be on the couch. Now, what is it about?  
  
Haruka- ::walks over to Michiru and leans down:: If I tell will you let me… ::voice drops to a whisper so no one but Michiru can hear her. Michiru starts to turn red and her eyes glaze over. This goes on for about 20 minutes while a smug smile forms on Haruka's face. Yaten takes this chance to grab the packet of paper from the blonde. He and Ari-chan begin to read. Their eyes go wide::  
  
Ari-chan- Wow…  
  
Yaten- New uses for the moon stick all right…  
  
Ari-chan ::whacks Yaten::  
  
Yaten- What? I already found about what the Senshi do with the transformation sticks.  
  
Ari-chan- Sush, Don't give Haruka-san and Michiru-san any ideas.  
  
Yaten- I don't think they need any way. ::The two glance over to where Haruka and Michiru are *all* over each other. The couple is totally oblivious to the fact that they are making out in front of the other two. Ari-chan and Yaten look at each other::  
  
Ari-chan: Maybe we should leave?  
  
Yaten- Ahem!  
  
Haruka and Michiru: Do you mind?  
  
Yaten- Um, yes actually we do. Haruka-san, for our sake and Michiru's keep your sexual energy for later.  
  
Ari-chan- ::giggles and waves the fanfic in front of Haruka's face::  
  
Haruka- What are you doing with that?!  
  
Ari-chan- ::Shrugs:: Well you were other wise occupied Yaten-chan here stole it. Anyway, it isn't *that* bad.  
  
Michiru- What is it about?  
  
Haruka- No! Ari-chan if you tell I'll be on the couch for months! Maybe years! Don't do this to me.  
  
Yaten- Michiru-san, it's about Haruka-san and Chibi-usa-chan.  
  
Haruka- I told you not to say anything!  
  
Yaten- ::Shrugs:: No, you told Ari-chan not to say anything.  
  
Haruka- You little weasel… ::Moves to dive on Yaten while Yaten shrieks and gets up:: Get back here you cross dressing freak from outer space.  
  
Yaten- ::Stops and looks at Haruka:: Um, aren't you also a cross dressing freak from outer space?  
  
Ari-chan- Wrong thing to say Yaten-chan, so wrong. ::Shakes head::  
  
Haruka- Yeah, well at least I'm not a hermaphrodite.  
  
Ari-chan- Actually, according to this one, if you put on a coat you can change genders…  
  
Haruka- Do I have to kill both you? ::Ari-chan and Yaten cower behind Michiru who had her hands on her hips::  
  
Michiru- Haruka calm down, it's only a story.  
  
Haruka- ::Jumps on coffee table:: Only a story Michiru? What we have read today has been, sick, twisted and just nauseating. No one deserves to read this. And the people who wrote them should be locked up with all the other crazed maniacs out there. Then they can write these stupid stories together forever. And that's not it! They won't be fed, and because they love their stories so much they won't be able to eat those so they'll end up eating each other! Then all the insane fanfic writers out there will be gone and dead! And when the next generation of writers like that comes around we'll do the same thing only we won't give them pens. They'll have to write with their blood! They'll drain themselves like aroused vampires! ::she falls off table panting and laughing demonically:: Michiru, Ari-chan, Yaten- chan we will rule the world!  
  
Yaten- ::eye brow twitch:: Did you just use chan on the end of my name?  
  
Michiru- Love, I think you need to go to bed..  
  
Haruka- ::Jumps up and grabs Michiru by the shoulders:: I cannot sleep until the writers are rotting in prison and eating each other! ::she runs out to the apartment balcony:: All writers should die!  
  
Ari-chan- ::backing away:: Haruka-san, did you forget that I'm a writer?  
  
Haruka- ::comes back in wraps her arm around Ari-chan's shoulders:: Listen, you're a good writer. You don't write stupid things with me being paired with.. others. All your stuff it great, most anyway. I'm still not going to forgive you for Mr.Snuggles, the one where I was paranoid and all the death ones. ::The blonde shakes her head:: How do you sleep at night?  
  
Yaten- With me! ::grins::  
  
Haruka and Michiru- Too much information…  
  
Ari-chan- I think it's time for Yaten and I to leave. ::She and Yaten walk out giggling::  
  
  
  
Scene: Somewhere in the dark unknown Seiya sits at a computer with an evil grin on his face.  
  
Seiya: What pairing can I think of now to make Haruka angry? Hmm.. how about Michiru and I? ::Demonic laughter rings throughout the space::  
  
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Wow, so, what did you think? A bit different for me but I liked it. But who cares what I thought! Please review, it means a lot to me. ::Chibi- Haruka pops up with a big banner that says "If you don't I'll hunt you down and kill you slowly while laughing the whole time…:: ^^;  
  
Or… send questions, comments or even flames to me at: MichiTenoh36@aol.com, please put fanfic as the subject or your e-mail will remained unopend, thank you.  
  
"I wish to fondle your pastries"- Dave Barry, from Dave Barry Does Japan 


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